August 21, 2025
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Using Children as Messengers During Divorce
Using Children as Messengers: What Parents Need to Know
Communicating with your ex can be one of the most challenging parts of a custody arrangement. Many parents wonder about the role of children in relaying messages—but using children as messengers should always be avoided.
Understanding why you shouldn’t ask your children to carry messages can help protect them from unnecessary stress and conflict.
Messages May Be Misinterpreted
When you rely on children to relay messages, information can easily be misinterpreted. Miscommunication between parents can lead to confusion, frustration, or conflict that could have been avoided if the parents had communicated directly.
Negative Reactions May Occur
Some messages passed through children can trigger negative reactions in one or both parents. Children shouldn’t be placed in situations where they have to witness or manage these emotional responses.
Children May Feel the Need to Choose Sides
Being in the middle of communication between parents can make children feel they must pick a side. This is never appropriate. Children should feel supported by both parents, and using children as messengers can compromise that balance.
Parenting Plans Can Help
A well-structured parenting plan should outline the terms for communication, including the type and frequency of exchanges. Clear guidelines help parents communicate effectively without involving the children. Establishing this plan quickly after a separation can prevent misunderstandings and protect children from being put in the middle.
CONTACT: Aislynn Thomas McDonald
PHONE: (305) 503-0850
EMAIL: athomasmcdonald@kelleykronenberg.com
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Aislynn Thomas McDonald serves as Partner and Business Unit Leader at Kelley Kronenberg, where she focuses on family law and probate matters. Her comprehensive practice encompasses divorce, child custody, adoption and surrogacy law, collaborative divorce, wills and trusts, guardianship, and elder law. Prior to joining Kelley Kronenberg, Aislynn established herself as a respected family law practitioner, earning an AV® Preeminent™ Peer Review Rating by Martindale-Hubbell®.
Aislynn strives to provide concierge support to her clients through understanding their objectives and goals, advising them honestly about the best course of action. She works to resolve issues without proceeding to litigation and then will advocate zealously when a case does move in that direction. Her commitment extends beyond legal practice through extensive community involvement and advocacy for domestic violence awareness, children's legal advocacy, and women's rights.
Family Law Services:
- Divorce and legal separation
- Child custody and timesharing
- Child support and alimony
- Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements
- Adoption and surrogacy law
- Collaborative divorce
- Domestic violence protection
- Paternity matters
Probate and Estate Planning:
- Wills and trusts
- Estate planning and administration
- Probate litigation
- Guardianship proceedings
- Elder law matters
- Asset protection strategies
By joining Kelley Kronenberg, Attorneys at Law, in 2025, Aislynn is able to continue offering concierge legal service with the resources of a full-service large law firm. This combination provides clients with personalized attention backed by comprehensive legal resources and support.
Aislynn is dedicated to providing top-quality legal services to residents throughout South Florida and the Florida Keys. Her practice is based in Miami and serves clients throughout the region with both local expertise and broader legal resources.
To schedule a consultation with Aislynn Thomas McDonald at Kelley Kronenberg, contact their Miami office. During your initial consultation, she will evaluate your specific situation, explain your legal options, and develop a strategy tailored to your unique circumstances and goals.
Throughout every case, Aislynn demonstrates sensitivity to both the emotional and legal challenges her clients are facing, and works to reach terms that are agreeable to all parties. Your first meeting will focus on understanding your situation, discussing your objectives, and outlining potential paths forward with honest, practical advice.
Yes, Aislynn Thomas McDonald is experienced in collaborative divorce, which offers couples a way to resolve their differences outside of traditional litigation. This approach focuses on cooperation, open communication, and finding mutually beneficial solutions while minimizing emotional and financial costs.
As a full-service law firm, Kelley Kronenberg provides access to specialists across multiple practice areas when family law cases involve complex financial matters, business valuations, tax implications, or other specialized legal issues that may arise during divorce or estate planning proceedings.
